What we are missing
"Please don't call me arrogant, but I'm European champion and I think I'm a special one" - Mourinho introduces himself to the English press after arriving from Porto in the summer of 2004.
"In the second half it was whistle and whistle, fault and fault, cheat and cheat. The referee controlled the game in one way during the first half but in the second they had dozens of free-kicks. I know the referee did not walk to the dressing rooms alone at half-time" - Mourinho claims Sir Alex Ferguson had unduly influenced referee Neale Barry at half-time during a Carling Cup semi-final against Manchester United in January 2005. He was fined £5,000 by the Football Association for improper conduct.
"I don't regret it. The only thing I have to understand is I'm in England, so maybe even when I think I am not wrong, I have to adapt to your country and I have to respect that. I have a lot of respect for Liverpool fans and what I did, the sign of silence - 'shut your mouth' - was not for them, it was for the English press" - Mourinho defends putting a finger to his lips during the 2005 Carling Cup final against Liverpool, an action which resulted in him being sent to the stands.
"When I saw Rijkaard entering the referee's dressing room I couldn't believe it. When Drogba was sent off I didn't get surprised. There is something that tells me that in London the referee will be Collina, the best in the world. A perfect referee with personality and quality" - Mourinho claims in Portuguese newspaper Dez Record that Barcelona coach Frank Rijkaard visited referee Anders Frisk's dressing room at half-time in the first leg of the teams' Champions League last-16 clash in February 2005. Mourinho was banned from the dug-out for two matches and fined £9,000 by Uefa for bringing the game into disrepute over his claims.
"I felt the power of Anfield, it was magnificent. I felt it didn't interfere with my players but maybe it interfered with other people and maybe it interfered with the result. You should ask the linesman why he gave a goal. Because, to give a goal, the ball must be 100% in and he must be 100% sure that the ball is in" - Mourinho questions the validity of Liverpool's goal which puts Chelsea out of the Champions League semi-finals on May 3, 2005.
"It is not a red card, of course not, and for the second time we have to play 55, 60 minutes without a man and the game is completely different. I shouldn't speak about the game, because the game is not a game" - Mourinho blames a first-leg defeat to Barcelona in the Champions League last 16 in February 2006 on the sending-off of Asier del Horno.
"We have played against them four matches in two seasons. [When it was] 11 against 11 they never beat us. That is the reality" - Mourinho responds to a 1-1 draw at the Nou Camp in 2006 which sent Barça through to the quarter-finals 3-2 on aggregate.
"The goalkeeper has the ball in his hands, slides and the No10 cannot get the ball. He goes with the knee into his face" - Mourinho accuses Reading midfielder Stephen Hunt of deliberately injuring Petr Cech after the pair collide in the first minute of last October's match at the Madejski Stadium.
"It is not possible [for] penalties [to be awarded] against Manchester United, and it is not possible [to get] penalties in favour of Chelsea. If somebody punishes me because I tell the truth, it is the end of democracy, we go back to the old times" - Mourinho fumes last season after seeing his side's penalty appeals against Newcastle turned down, a day after United were given the benefit of the doubt over a strong injury-time penalty claim by Middlesbrough in their clash at Old Trafford.
"A player who wants to be the best one of the world, and he already may be, should have the uprightness and the sufficient maturity to verify that against facts there are not arguments. If he says that it is a lie that Manchester United have conceded some penalties this season which have not been awarded against them, he is lying. And if he lies he will never reach the level that he wants to reach" - Mourinho hits back at Ronaldo after the United winger claimed his penalty rant proved his countryman "doesn't know how to admit his own failures".
"There are only two ways for me to leave Chelsea. One way is in June 2010 when I finish my contract and if the club doesn't give me a new one. It is the end of my contract and I am out. The second way is for Chelsea to sack me.
The way of the manager leaving the club by deciding to walk away, no chance! I will never do this to Chelsea supporters" - Mourinho gazes into his crystal ball last season.
"It is omelettes and eggs. No eggs - no omelettes! It depends on the quality of the eggs. In the supermarket you have class one, two or class three eggs and some are more expensive than others and some give you better omelettes. So when the class one eggs are in Waitrose and you cannot go there, you have a problem"
- shorn of the likes of injury victims Frank Lampard, Michael Ballack, Ricardo Carvalho and Didier Drogba, Mourinho cooked up a surreal analogy ahead of Tuesday's fateful draw with Rosenborg.